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This moment.It doesn't matter that what hurt me five years ago hurt me then
what matters to me is that it hurts to this day
I'm not concerned with the idea that the pain will still be there in years to come
The persistent thought is that it hurts now
and in this moment
the pain is unbearable.
between joy and misery
between hope and despair
From highs to lows
never fully there
no disconcernable talent
on ivory keys
that created harmony
to unexpected ears
No talented fingers
with wanted art
No worded wonders
Straight to the heart
No real contribution
to the world or one
If only you knew..If only you knew..
That I loved you.
That I wanted to do all the right things.
That I would have helped if I could.
That I would have taken your tears when you cried.
If only you knew..
That I was broken.
That I wanted you with me.
That I want to take back my regrets.
That I wanted to see you again.
If only you knew..
That I was slowly slipping.
That I wanted a way out.
That you couldn't have helped.
That it wasn't your fault.
If only you knew..
That all my dreams are of what I could have done.
What I could have been.
What I could have seen.
That all my fantasies are of the worlds that don't exist.
Of the places that hold so much magic.
Suicidal SaviorNo matter how hard i try to make others happy, even when im not, it still isnt enough
I quietly suffer, while everyone else just enjoys the happiness they have
Even in plain site i cry, and no one comes to help me, no one even realizes
I play my part as the empty shell of nothing, focusing my attention on everyone else even when my heart is broken in two
they all say they care, they all think they understand, they all have no idea what im going through
I hear the voices that aren't there, i see the shadows that have no person, and i feel the sorrow that is my only reality
And you say you know what im going through, yet you have no idea what its like to be me
To not know whats real, whats not real, to have absolutely no one...no one who can come and save you
So im sorry im not happy, im sorry i dont care, im sorry that i exist
I'm sorry that i think i matter, to even have the thought that you should care
But no matter how hard i try, i must believe that one person does care
BreakableI'm sorry I didn't fight for you.
That's what you wanted, isn't it?
You wanted me to fall at your feet and beg you to stay, not to leave me.
But you did leave me.
I think you need to realize something,
You had already broken my heart once that day, and to be honest...
I just didn't want it broken again.
GoodbyeLike the beautiful being you are,
you kiss my lips,
and tell me you love me.
You hold my hand and tell me to hold on-
to stay alive.
You cry and say you cant live without me-
you would die without me.
Your arms engulf me in the most warming embrace.
that you would never have to let me go.
But me life still slips away,
ever so slowly-
letting me get my last glimpse of your face,
And as you realize that i am gone,
your tears touch my face,
and your heart breaks over my death.
When I Said I Loved YouWhen I said I loved you
I wasn't kidding.
I wasn't joking.
I fucking meant it
And I still do.
Parents Break HeartsParents break hearts
I guess it's only natural
You trust them from the very start
They tell you they're the one to call
And you take them for every word
Because it's what you've always heard
At least until you lose it all
Or maybe you didn't know them in the first place
But always dreamed of their perfection
Their open arms and smiling faces
Looking back at your reflection
They're ruining your life without doing a thing
By always leaving you questioning
What you did to be left the lonely one
Either way they get your soul for countless years
As you try to go along with life
And either you're left in tears
Cause they just love to twist that knife
Staying or leaving, nobody can win
I guess it just sucks to be anyone's kin
Yet still more and more become husband and wife
I've started thinking family is a curse
You always end up filled with pain and lies
I really can't tell which part is worse
But it always ends when the love dies
It hurts to be cared for cause one day it’s done
Mirror, MirrorMirror, Mirror
On the wall
Who's the deadliest one of all?
If it says me, then it stays true.
Soon the bloodiest will be you.
On the wall
Who's the one that they all call?
If it says God, then it stays true.
Soon the one dying will be you.
On the wall
What's the loveliest of them all?
If it says Death, then it stays true.
Soon the painting will be of you.
What's that noise?
That shattering, crashing jumbled noise.
If it stays silent then it's still true.
The one who smashed it, true as you.
My reality dreamYou were my dream that became my living reality
A perfect being who i never thought existed
A sweet soul with no fear in love
You were my fairy tale that never ended...
You were the only one who could know my deepest secrets,
my darkest truths
You broke down my walls with a single word,
a single expression
Everything about you i truly loved and nothing about you could make me see different
Even at my darkest moments you knew how to make me see the light
And even when i knew it not,
you loved me for me,
no matter how cruel i was to you
And your love was what saved me from losing myself in the most saddest way...
Like a dream,
my life became wonderful
reality turned into a fairy tale
And everything was a beautiful story
Knives And PensThe children seek as they come face to face with the blade,
Looking into the distance,
watching the every move that it makes,
They move across the darkness away from pins and needles of pain
The girl runs from the blade,
It follows after, not wanting to let go
All the pain and suffering catches up,
Never leaving her side,
as if it is waiting for something to happen
She wants it to end,
to be able to forget all the pain that was caused
She wants all to end
taking hold of the knife
suffering ends as she places the to her throat
blanking out as she says her final goodbye...
HomesickI am the river's son,
my arteries flowing turquoise
and turning to rapids
rushing around my frame,
filling me with this sense
of buoyancy, minnows
tickling my sternum.
I am the river's son.
My palms caress each
silty shoreline, every
battered bank and bend,
and these places I know
so well become me
as my fingerprint,
even the bridge above me
inflamed by the afternoon
sun-glow, burning rusty and
the steel blue sky.
I am the river's son;
I bring my home along
like hermit crab,
where I step
I pull water from the earth.
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More